READ THIS FIRST
You are not choosing a boat. You are choosing a venue.
A restaurant gives you three hours and a table. A beach club gives you loungers and other people’s music. This gives you eight hours, a coastline, and no one else comes aboard.
You bring the date and the number of people. I bring the vessel, the route, the cake, the flowers, the table ashore, and the conversation with the captain in Spanish that decides whether the day runs well or runs late.
FIELD NOTES
01
In high season we recommend going on the half hour — 9:30, 10:30, instead of 10:00. The marinas move on the hour and the fairway backs up. Twenty minutes lost at the slip is twenty minutes lost at Los Arcos.
03
On a party of sixteen, count shade before you count seats. There is always enough seating. There is rarely enough shade after noon — and it is what people notice at two o’clock, not at ten.
02
I collect the cake the morning of, not the night before. Buttercream has about twenty minutes on a table in this climate. Ganache and tres leches hold. I will steer you toward one of those, and I will not pretend it is a matter of taste.
04
Flowers go low on the table, never tall. Anything above eye level goes over in the first crossing, and then somebody spends the day holding it.
THE PRIVATE PART OF PRIVATE
What will not happen.
No second party boarding at Las Ánimas.
No shared table on the sand.
No microphone, no organised group photograph.
No return time set by someone you have never met.
No sixteen strangers singing to a person they have not met.
ALREADY HANDLED
Four things arrive before you do.
None is an addition. None is priced separately. If you want nothing beyond them, the day is complete and I will tell you so.
The cake
Chosen with you — flavour, size, what is written on it — and collected the morning of your date.
The toast
Sparkling wine, chilled aboard and poured at anchor with the engines off.
Fresh flowers
Cut that morning and set before you board, so the first photograph is the arrival.
Your music
A playlist agreed in advance, playing as you step on. Or a shared queue everyone can add to.
10:30
BOARDING · MARINA VALLARTA
You pick the hour. Most birthdays leave at 9:30 or 10:30, because nobody wants an alarm on a holiday. The bay is flat until about ten, so the first twenty minutes south are livelier than they would have been at dawn. The cake goes into the refrigerator before anyone’s bag does.
11:10
LOS ARCOS
Twenty-five minutes out, the engines cut. Granite arches forty metres off the bow, water clear to about eleven metres on a good morning. Nobody arrives planning to be in the sea before noon. Most of the party is in within ten minutes.
13:30
LAS ÁNIMAS
Lunch on the sand at a table asked for in advance — or tacos at anchor, if you would rather nobody had to get dressed. The walk in is shallow a long way out, which matters when the party runs from four years old to eighty.
15:30
THE TOAST · AT ANCHOR
Engines off, the vessel still. Candles do not survive wind and a cake does not survive a crossing on a table, so the toast happens at anchor and never underway. The photographs are better for the stillness.
17:40
COMING BACK IN
The sun drops behind the Sierra Madre and the water goes flat and grey-silver. Nobody has ever asked me to speed up on this leg.
NINE SHAPES OF A BIRTHDAY
Which one is yours?
Party size decides the vessel. Temperament decides the day. Read until one sounds like your group, then tell me which — it is faster than describing it from scratch.
01 · TWO TO EIGHT · 4–8 HOURS
The Quiet Birthday
For the person who does not want a party — often booked by the one whose birthday it is. Early water at Los Arcos before the boats arrive, a long lunch, back before the light goes.
05 · UP TO TWENTY · 8 HOURS FROM LA CRUZ
The Adventure Birthday
The Marietas. An hour of open water each way, a capped number of visitors a day, a permit arranged before your date is held. Snorkelling, diving, a jet ski off the platform. The crossing is why the day is worth taking — and why it is not for every party.
2BRLa Cruz · Marina Los Peines
02 · FOUR TO FOURTEEN· 6–8 HOURS
The Elegant Table
Fresh flowers instead of balloons, a partner chef, a properly laid table at anchor, a tequila tasting twenty minutes before the food. Music under the conversation, never over it.
06 · TWELVE TO TWENTY-TWO · 8 HOURS
The Taco Bar Birthday
The one most groups actually want. Tacos made at anchor, a tequila tasting before them, everyone wet and eating standing up. Nothing to plate, nobody in a fixed seat, no moment where the day stops for a meal.
03 · ANY SIZE, WITH CHILDREN
The Family Birthday
Las Ánimas, because the water is shallow a long way out and the kitchen is a minute from the sand. A waterslide off the stern, a barbecue aboard. Add a lifeguard and a babysitter and the adults are off duty for the first time on the trip.
2TS (includes water slide) · 2MG · 2W
Marina Los Peines · Marina Vallarta
07 · TEN TO TWENTY · A LATE RETURN
The Long Way Back
Dinner ashore at Las Ánimas with a live band on the sand, and then the part nobody expects: you get back on the boat. An hour of open dark water with the lights of Vallarta ahead, drinks still going. Most groups go quiet for the first ten minutes. Then somebody turns it up.
THE MUSIC
Atmosphere is a decision, not an accident.
The question is never whether to have music. It is which vessel can carry it. A deck with a solid foredeck and a proper system takes a DJ well. A small aft deck does not, and I will pair you accordingly rather than talk you out of it.
A DJ
On 2BAS, 2TS, 1A1 or the Summit vessels, where the deck and the system are built for it. Booked through me, briefed on the party and the hour it should turn.
Live musicians
A mariachi group, a violin duo, a guitarist, a norteño band. At the dock or brought out by panga at anchor.
A shared queue
Everyone aboard connects to one playlist from their own phone and adds to it. No host, no aux cable, no argument. It costs nothing and it works on every vessel.
A playlist I build with you
Agreed in advance and playing as you step aboard. The first ten minutes of a day set the rest of it.
A saxophonist over the set
Standard at beach clubs and almost unknown on charters here. It is the cheapest thing on this list that changes a party most. A percussionist works the same way.
Karaoke
1L7 carries a machine. It is the least dignified thing in the selection and it has never once failed.
The dedication hour
On the crossing home, each guest queues one song for the birthday person and says one line about why they chose it. No speeches, no microphone, nobody has to stand up. It is the hour people remember, and it is the reason I mention the shared queue at all.
A salsa teacher
An hour at anchor. The answer to what fourteen people do between lunch and the toast.
THE ONE THING YOU CANNOT BUY AT HOME
Las Mañanitas, at anchor.
In Mexico the birthday song is not sung at the cake. It is a serenade, sung early, to wake the person whose day it is — and it is not the song you know. It has verses. People close their eyes for it.
Three moments it can happen. At the dock as your party boards. By panga at anchor — engines off, no warning, three songs across the water. Or the one I recommend: as you tie up at the end of the day, the musicians are waiting on the slip, and your party steps off to Las Mañanitas and a happy birthday sung in English. The day ends on a rise, and dinner is next.
I translate the verse for your party beforehand, so they know when to come in. That is the part nobody thinks to ask for.
THE DAY, IN MOTION
A GUEST STORY
“We had an excellent experience on the sailboat to celebrate our mom’s birthday. We were a group of 16 people, and it was perfect. Oksana and James and Oscar took such great care of us. The food was amazing and the service was perfect. Highly recommend Boat and Bay Vallarta."
Family Birthday charter · January 2024 · via TripAdvisor
THE MUSIC
What I add — and what I decline.
Most birthdays need one or two additions, not six. Everything is quoted with the charter, itemised before you confirm — never after.
WORTH THE COST
USUALLY DECLINED
A partner chef
600 USD for a party of five to 1,600 USD for twenty-three, food and the chef’s assistant included. On a Los Arcos or Marietas route there is no kitchen ashore at all.
The taco bar
Made aboard at anchor. Better than a seated meal for anyone who is wet and standing up, and the thing people film.
A tequila tasting
Three pours and a short explanation before the food. It replaces the idea of an open bar with something that belongs to this coast.
A photographer, full charter
Two hours would not do it. The photographs people keep are from the last hour, when everyone has stopped performing. Video and drone on the same booking.
Balloons and confetti
Not a preference. Bahía de Banderas is a working marine environment and what leaves the deck stays in the water. Flowers hold up better in wind and photograph better in hard light.
A surprise reveal at the marina
Asked for often, and it rarely lands. People arrive hot, carrying bags, watching their footing. The reveal that works is at anchor with the engines off, an hour later.
Three destinations in one day
Los Arcos on the way south to Las Ánimas is a natural pairing. Adding a third means you have seen nothing properly and eaten badly. The Marietas are the whole day on their own.
A photographer for an hour or two
I am asked for this to save money, and I decline it. This is a boat, not a ballroom — once the lines are off, short of putting him over the side, he is with you until you dock. And the day is not one mood: it climbs, it settles, it turns golden on the way home. Aboard for all of it, he catches the arc instead of the arrival. Full charter or not at all.
A jet ski
Always a good addition. It needs a platform and a separate operator, so tell me early and I will pair you with a vessel that carries one properly.
A lifeguard and a babysitter
Not add-ons on a family day. They are the reason the parents get to sit down.
Flowers, cake, chef and musicians need three days; a large or tiered cake needs more, and I will tell you plainly. The charter itself needs twenty-four hours between the deposit and the departure. Inside that window, write anyway — sometimes it can be done, and I will say plainly when it cannot.
MATCHING THE PARTY TO THE VESSEL
How many are coming?
Tell me the number and the date and I will tell you which vessel makes sense and which marina to arrive at. The marina column matters more than most people expect — it decides your morning.
PARTY SIZE AND VESSEL - MATCH — PRIVATE BIRTHDAY CHARTERS, BAHIA DE BANDERAS
PARTY
VESSEL
SUITS
A small number of vessels in the selection are not shown here. For those, inquire directly.
HONEST ABOUT THE EDGES
What I control, and what I do not.
Mine
Selecting the vessel against your party and your route. A sixty-minute pre-boarding inspection before anyone arrives. The cake, the flowers, the table ashore, every subcontracted addition. The briefing given to your captain and partner crew in Spanish. Every answer you receive between now and your departure, from one person.
Whether I am aboard
Sometimes there is room and a reason; sometimes my being there costs you a seat you would rather give a guest. I decide that with you before you confirm. Either way I am at the dock when you arrive and reachable from shore all day.
Not mine
The sea, the wind, and the captain’s judgement about both. I do not own the vessels and I do not employ the crews — I select them, brief them, and hold them to a standard. If the port closes or conditions are unsafe, you reschedule at no cost or take a full refund, less processing fees. Safe but cloudy is not grounds, and I tell you that before you pay rather than on the morning.
Tips
Not included, not added to your invoice, entirely at your discretion. Nobody will ask you at the dock.
60 minutes
Pre-boarding inspection, before your party reaches the dock.
Up to 35
The working ceiling for a single private charter.
VAT included
A registered Mexican business. Proper invoicing, no card fees.
One person
Oksana — English, Spanish, French, German — from inquiry to departure.
QUESTIONS I AM BEING ASKED MOST
Before you hold a date
What is included without paying extra?
A cake, a sparkling wine toast, fresh flowers, and a playlist of your own if you want one. Those four are part of every birthday charter. You choose the cake flavour and what is written on it, and I collect it on the morning of your date.
What time do we leave?
You pick the hour. Most birthdays leave at 9:30 or 10:30 — in high season every departure goes on the half hour, because the marinas move on the hour and the fairway backs up. The bay is flat until about ten.
When does the toast happen?
At anchor, with the engines off — usually mid-afternoon. Candles do not survive wind and a cake does not survive a crossing on a table, so the toast never happens underway. The photographs are better for the stillness.
What kind of cake can we choose?
Flavour, size and what is written on it are chosen with you. I will steer you toward ganache or tres leches — buttercream has about twenty minutes on a table in this climate. A large or tiered cake needs more than three days, and I will tell you plainly.
Can we have a DJ?
Yes, on the vessels built for it — a solid foredeck and a proper system. Booked through me, briefed on the party and the hour it should turn.
My mother is eighty and my niece is four. Is this sensible?
Yes, with the right route. Las Ánimas is shallow a long way out, the vessel is chosen for shade and flat decks, and a lifeguard and a babysitter mean the adults sit down.
Are tips included?
No. Not added to your invoice, entirely at your discretion, and nobody will ask you at the dock.
More before you decide:
where a charter can take you · Las Ánimas · Los Arcos · the Marietas · the vessels · a proposal aboard
ONE MESSAGE IS ENOUGH TO START
Tell me the date and how many are coming.
You do not need to have chosen a vessel, a route, a cake or an hour. That is my part.
yourelax@boatandbay.com · +52 322 164 0837 · English · Spanish · French · German